


A Different Kind of Normal

by Finsfall



Series: A Trio of Troublemakers [2]
Category: DCU (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Poison Ivy (Comics)
Genre: Coronavirus pandemic, F/F, Family, Feels, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finsfall/pseuds/Finsfall
Summary: Harley and Ivy deal with the results of the Coronavirus Pandemic.Because things are hard.This is a short story based cronologically after my Harlivy work "A Home for the Holidays."
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn
Series: A Trio of Troublemakers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728757
Comments: 7
Kudos: 103





	A Different Kind of Normal

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a medical professonal. Just making that clear.

On the list of “things Mom has strictly forbidden us to do,” Harley and Lucy had played blackout bingo. They had eaten ice cream for breakfast, and not the fake vegan stuff; the real milk, double churned, chock full of extra fudge and cookie bits with caramel swirl kind of ice cream. Bed time was whenever they both fell asleep on the couch after a Netflix binge. Baths were optional, and when taken, were of the bubble variety. Zeke’s mossy fur had been trimmed into funny patterns. Bud and Lou slept on every stick of furniture in the house: both with and without their humans. Ivy’s plants were fed dyed water until every single one bloomed in a different color. Glitter bombs littered the floor from the fashion show they’d held; most of the outfits involved having been obtained from Ivy’s side of the closet. And if anyone wanted to go to the bathroom, they had to step around the bed sheet fort that engulfed the living room. 

Harley was officially out of ideas. In retrospect, burning through the list like a trust-fund baby in Disneyland with their parents' credit cards had probably not been the smartest choice. But then again, Harley wasn’t known for her restraint.

_Really shoulda made a backup list fer emergencies._ Harley grumbled to herself, _not that I ever thought we’d make it through tha whole original one! Nobody ‘cept crazies plan fer the world shuttin’ down!_

The couch cushion let out a puff of glitter as she threw herself down beside Lucy. “I’m bored.”

Lucy glanced at Harley, then focused back on the TV. _My Little Pony_ was playing reruns, and ever since she discovered it two weeks ago, the girl couldn’t get enough. Ivy had tried to turn her attention towards some science show featuring some dude named Bill, but had given up pretty fast. Partly due to the fact that Lucy was as stubborn as her mama; partly because she looked way too cute in the pegasus costume Harley bought off the internet. A costume Lucy was currently wearing. Clutching a stuffed pony in clown makeup to her chest, she leaned back against Harley with a smile. 

“You could watch with me! It’s one of the halloween ones! There’ll be lots of spiders and spooky stuff, just like in your favorite movies.” Lucy’s expression turned thoughtful as one of the ponies pranced across the screen, “less blood though. And no men with knives.”

Harley grimaced, _Ivy is going to kill me_. “Thanks jellybean, but I think I’m gonna call Mom. You want to say hi?”

Lucy nodded vigorously, but then froze as the first notes of a song blasted out of the speakers. Her eyes flicked between the TV and the bedroom. The TV won out. “Can you call her again after dinner?” She asked.

“Of course!” Harley ruffled Lucy’s blond hair, eliciting a small squeal from the girl. “Enjoy your show baby.”

“I’m not a baby!” Lucy huffed. “I’m six!”

Harley grinned, “And no matter how old you are, you’ll always be my baby.” She went for Lucy’s hair again, only to miss as the girl ducked.

“Go call Mom already!” 

“I’m goin’, I’m goin’.” Harley chuckled. Brushing glitter off her pants, (which inevitably just ended up spreading the stuff to her arms as well) Harley hopped off the couch and limboed past the blanket fort into the hallway. 

As soon as the bedroom door closed behind her, Harley’s shoulders slumped. Boredom wasn’t the only challenging part of this lockdown. Loneliness hit like a hammer to the heart every time she saw the empty bed, and the bare spot on the bathroom counter where a makeup bag used to sit. Lucy was a godsend. Harley couldn’t even imagine weathering a single day in the house by herself, let alone two weeks or more. But that didn’t make Ivy’s absence any easier to bear. 

Grabbing the laptop from her desk, she walked over to her spot on the bed and flopped down. A few keystrokes and a password later the ringtone trilled annoyingly as Harley waited for Ivy to pick up. _We have amazin’ tech like this, but nature can still kick us in the nuts. Hubris is a bitch._

The ringing cut out with a _boop_ , and Harley’s face was replaced by a grainy picture of a gorgeous redheaded woman in a lab coat. Green eyes crinkled under shapely brows as Ivy pushed a stray curl out of her face, regarding the computer on her end with a frown. Even blurry she was the most beautiful sight Harley had ever seen. One sleeved arm stained with reddish blotches reached out to fiddle with the lense, and suddenly the whole picture bloomed into focus. 

“There we go.” Ivy grinned in triumph, and Harley’s heart skipped a beat. “I think I fixed it. Everything looking good on your end?”

“I never wanna tear my eyes away.”

“Flatterer. I meant the picture quality.” Ivy rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hide the darkening green along her cheekbones. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Yeah, looks great, but I think those clothes are interferin’ with tha signal. Bet it’d look better if ya lost some.”

Ivy’s blush turned emerald, “Harley! I am not stripping in the lab!” She hissed.

Harley pouted, “oh come on Pam-a-lamb! It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“That was different, I was…”

“Hey Pam, who you talking to?” A red and yellow clad man with lightning bolt insignia sewn to his chest peeked over Ivy’s shoulder. Seeing Harley on the screen, he waved so hard his hand was pretty much just a blur. “Harley! How are things down below?”

“...alone.” Ivy finished with a pointed glare at the Flash. “Barry, I thought you were working on bringing samples seven and twenty-three up to temp. You cannot possibly be done yet.”

The Flash shrugged. “Fastest man alive, remember?”

The vines holding back Ivy’s hair flexed towards Barry as she took a deep breath.“The trials indicated that gradual increases in temperature helped to stabilize the compounds, which by extension, increased the overall effectiveness of the drug. You are a scientist, Barry. Tell me, what happens to delicate things when they are vibrated at the speed of sound?” 

Her voice was dangerously calm, but the plant life creeping into the camera frame told another story. Harley instinctively edged back from the laptop. There was only one thing Poison Ivy hated more than the destruction of the environment: interference with her work. She was endlessly patient when Lucy wandered into her lab at home, but that was Lucy. Harley had seen her kill men for less. 

_Welp, it was nice knowin’ yah Flash._

On the screen, Barry’s face fell, “they collapse.”

“And why do we not want that to happen?” Ivy asked. Every plant behind her sprouted thorns.

“Because the world is depending on this vaccine.” Barry eyed the cornflowers creeping towards him with trepidation. “I just…”

“You just _what_?” Ivy growled as her eyes flared a toxic green.

“Nothing ma’am. It was my mistake.” Barry squeaked. “And since it was my mistake, I’m going to redo them. From the top, slow and steady, this time.” The cornflowers lunged and he dodged at lightning speed. “It’ll take most of tonight to finish, so I’m just going to get out of your hair now. So sorry. Bye!” He blurred out of the room, and a door clicked shut. 

Ivy slowly relaxed her hold on the flora. Blinking away the verdant gleam, her eyes settled into their normal state as she turned back to Harley. “I am surrounded by idiots.”

“Awe, give the League a little credit. Many of them are actually pretty accomplished in their fields.” Harley grinned.

Ivy glared at her, “you just have to play devil’s advocate don’t you?”

“We’re BFFs, so yeah.”

Ivy chose to ignore that. “The League members are indeed fairly capable in their fields, yes. Which is why they should know better than to butt into matters they don’t fully understand.” 

“They’re heroes, it’s their job to butt in.”

“Not if they want to stop this virus.” Ivy grumbled, “this isn’t some villain they can just punch in the face. I have been working since six this morning on those samples Flash just ruined. If I so much as see his stupid lighting bolt onesie one more time…”

A gust of wind pushed Ivy’s plants back as Flash zoomed into the picture again. “Totally forgot! Bye Harley!” 

“ARRRGGGG!!!” 

Ivy screamed in frustration and lashed out with her full power at the empty spot where Barry had been seconds before. Plants crushed the tile to dust as the door shut for the second time. Seething, Ivy turned back to Harley.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just kill them all right now.” She flexed her fingers around imaginary throats. “It would be easy. So very easy to flood the station’s air filters with cordyceps spores, or drop manchineel sap into the water tanks. Like crushing a metallic anthill under my heel.”

“Yeah, you could totally murder them all.” Harley agreed, “but you won’t.”

“And why, pray tell, is that?”

“Because we owe ‘em.”

Ivy raised an eyebrow, “ _we_ owe them?”

“Definitely ‘we’,” Harley retorted. “Your track record with them is just as bad as mine.”

“I’m not sure about that.” Ivy snorted, “Wonder Woman was telling me a _very_ interesting story last night. Something about you breaking into her friend’s London apartment when she was house sitting, knocking her cold, stripping her in the bathroom, and fighting off a bunch of armed assassins in her uniform.”

“That was one time, an’ it was ta save her life!”

“Stripping Wonder Woman helped save her life?”

Harley fiddled with the laptop cord. “Uh, not really in tha end. But it’s tha thought that counts!”

“Riiiiiiight.” Ivy drawled. “Then I’m certain that Power Girl forgives you for all the stunts you pulled when she lost her memory?

“For tha record we are now best bosom buddies who go out for coffee every month or so. I even remember ta pay!” Harley protested. “If we’re pointin’ fingers, what about your record with tha Birds?”

Ivy made a face. “I would love to say you’re wrong, but I ran into Black Canary yesterday in the cafeteria. She clearly holds a grudge.” She rubbed at one of her ears. “I would advise not angering someone who can shatter eardrums when they shout.”

“An’ Superman? Does he still think about the time you enslaved him and forced him ta fight Bats?”

“Actually he was surprisingly cool. Turns out he’s too much of a boy scout to hold it against me.” Ivy’s expression turned thoughtful, “though Selina and Bruce did throw Lois off a building to break the toxin’s hold. He might be mad at them instead.”

“I’ll bet the big guy has enough internalized insecurities ‘nd issues ta fill a thousand books.” Harley speculated. “Ya know Bats gets a bad rap fer bein’ tha most messed up, but in my experience, all heroes are just a single bad choice removed from tha villains. Some may even be worse. Just have a good marketing team is all.”

Ivy dropped her head on the table holding her computer. “This is why I prefer plants. Plants don’t bother with stupid things like morality.” She sighed heavily into the tabletop. “I want to feel the earth under my feet again! Whoever decided that the League’s headquarters should be in space has made it to the top of my hit list.” 

“I’ve always found that ta be melodramatic myself.”

Ivy rolled to face Harley, “Why am I doing this again?”

“Because the League asked nicely, because we owe them, but most of all…” Harley ticked off the reasons on her fingers, “because we want Lucy to grow up in a world where people can make friends in person, not just through a screen.”

“When did you become the logical one?” Ivy groaned, but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“I’m only illogical when I choose ta be. I’m a doctor too ya know.” Harley crossed her arms in mock anger. “Not that many people seem ta remember.”

Ivy’s smile broadened, “I’ve never forgotten. Your intelligence is one of your best attributes.” Her eyes wandered down. “It almost makes my top four.” She crooned as she licked her lips.

“Pamela Lillian Isley, I cannot be held responsible fer tha adult content that will follow if you are gonna make statements like that. Didn’t you stop me earlier anyway?” Harley warned as a familiar heat surged at the sight of that tongue. 

Ivy’s eyes darkened. “That was before Barry left.” She tapped one finger gently on the tabletop, and leaned in. “He’s not here now.”

_God, tha things that woman can do with… nope not going there._ As much as she wanted everything that looked like it was about to happen, Flash was bound to come back, and dinner was in an hour. Burying her thoughts under a mental picture of Two-Face in a string bikini, Harley tried to change the subject. “Why was the Flash in your lab anyway? I thought you had the place to yourself.”

“I’ll take that as a no?” Ivy settled back into her chair. “You surprise me, Harley.” She looked down at her lab coat and fiddled with one of the buttons. “Is it the outfit? I can change if you’d like.”

_I’D LIKE!_ Harley’s deprived libido shrieked. But what she choked out was, “Uhhh...been wonderin’, what’s on your sleeve?” 

“Fine. Rain check?”

Harley nodded so hard she nearly gave herself whiplash.

Ivy smirked, “glad to know you haven’t lost interest.” She held her sleeve up to the camera so that the reddish stains were clearly visible. “In answer to your second inquiry, it’s not blood. I spilled beet juice on myself when a certain unwanted lab partner ran into my desk.” Ivy shot a pointed look towards the lab door. “I cannot believe they allow that man anywhere near a crime lab.”

"Not a good partners ta have?"

“If you like a literal walking example of the phrase 'haste makes waste," then he's the guy for you." Ivy sighed again. “The only League members here are the ones who have some sort of immunity to the virus. Wonder Woman’s god DNA apparently keeps her from getting ill. Superman is an alien, so not much on our planet has evolved to survive alongside the amount of solar radiation he absorbs; Power Girl and Supergirl are in the same boat. Barry has an immune system that burns through diseases like he burns through calories. Mera and Aquaman have a similar immune system quirk, just not on the same level as Flash. And Black Canary already had it and completed her quarantine period. Out of the available members, Flash had the most lab experience. He was the default choice.”

Harley tilted her head in confusion. “Where’s Bats?”

“Locked up in his mansion with the entire Bat clan. He thought that one of his full body batsuits could protect him from the virus. He thought wrong.” Ivy snorted. “Precautionary measures like that are fairly useless if you fail to wash the suit itself between uses. League forced him into quarantine the day before I arrived.”

“At least he isn’t tha one leanin’ over your shoulder. For a guy who is that stealthy, he can be pretty distractin’.” Harley pointed out. “Why do they think ya need a partner for anyway? Flash supposed ta watch you or somethin’?”

Ivy massaged her temples. “For once, I don’t think so. I think they genuinely believe that I will find the vaccine faster if I have help. Which may be true if my partner wasn’t ruining my samples. If Killer Frost had been available I would have requested her in a heartbeat. She has both technical and medical experience with the added bonus of portable refrigeration.”

Ivy stared off into space for a moment, clearly fantasizing about a lab without the Flash. “Ah what could have been.” She shook herself, “but it appears that I will have to make do. Anyway, that’s enough about me and my troubles. How are things at home? You and Lucy still holding down the fort?”

“Both in tha metaphical an’ tha literal sense.” Harley smiled at the confusion on Ivy’s face. “The first thing Lucy wanted to do this morning was build a blanket fort. So we took tha sheets off her bed, commandeered all tha extra pillows l could find lyin’ around, an’ built somethin’ even the Queen of England would like to stay in. It’s massive! Takes up most of the livin’ room.” 

Ivy’s eyes flicked towards Harley’s left where the hallway door stood closed. “It blocks the hall doesn’t it?”

“The entire hall.” Harley confirmed proudly, “It is a work of true laundry engineerin’.”

“I can only assume you wasted no time performing the rest of the activities I expressly prohibited.” 

“Really Pam, what else were we gonna do?”

“Read books maybe? Cook fun new recipes. Learn another language. Watch television that is age appropriate for Lucy.” Ivy suggested with a pointed stare, and Harley tried her best not to look guilty. In her defense, she hadn’t know Lucy was awake until she screamed during one of the murder scenes.

“She’s watchin’ that pony show as we speak. As for tha rest of your suggestions, we did all that already! ‘Cept the language thing. That sounds like work.” 

“It’s not work if you make it a game.”

Harley chose to ignore that. “Ivy, I'm bored!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have blown through your entire “Ivy’s not here” to do list in forty-eight hours.” Ivy stated in a maddeningly logical way. “Play a board game, I’ve got plenty in the closet.”

“It literally has bored in the title.”

“Not the same spelling.”

Harley huffed in frustration, “you know what I mean! I’m done bein’ locked inside; I’m done with take out; I’m sick of tha reruns they play on TV! I want to live again, Red.” Harley clutched at the comforter beneath her with white knuckles. “An’ what’s tha worst part of all? I miss you.” Tears threatened as she plowed ahead, “I miss your smile. I miss the way all tha plants in tha house perked up when you walked in a room. I miss our kisses over breakfast, an’ family time on thea couch after dinner. I miss how you always know what to say when Lucy feels down, how your perfume seeps into my side of tha closet, an’ tha sciency noises that come from your lab. Tha bed feels empty without you.” Harley sniffed, “everythin’ feels kinda empty without you.”

“Oh, Harls…” Ivy pressed a hand against the computer screen.

“An’ I know that tha world needs ya right now, but that doesn’ make it any easier!” Harley choked out, “an’ when I hear it might be months like this?” She put her own palm against Ivy’s digital one. “What are we gonna do, Pam?”

“Well…” Ivy’s voice shook as she drew in a rattling breath, “we’re going to do what we’re doing right now. We’re going to keep in touch, call whenever we can,” She curled her fingers against Harley’s, “talk about what hurts, be honest with each other, and remember to say ‘I love you.’” Ivy said slowly. “I hate everything about this too, sweet pea. When the crisis is over I swear I will kiss the sweet earth, grab you and Lucy, and never let go. Until then, we’ll find a different kind of normal. But one thing will never change.” 

“An’ what’s that?” Harley asked.

“My love for you.” Ivy smiled shakely, “I miss you too Harley, more than words can possibly convey.”

Harley blew her nose on the comforter. “God, we’re a mess.”

“It works because we can help pick each other off the floor.”

“Did you just make a cleaning pun?” Harley giggled in spite of herself. “Really, Pam?”

Ivy shrugged, “if the opportunity floats by...”

Harley opened her mouth to respond when a knock echoed through the bedroom. 

“Mama? What’s for dinner?”

“I was thinking pizza. How’s that sound, jellybean?” Harley called towards the door.

There was a pause as Lucy thought it over. “Can we get olives?”

Cringing internally at the prospect of picking those little black disgusting circles off her slices, Harley answered. “Yeah, we can get olives.”

“YAY! Tell mom I love her!” Tiny feet dashed down the hall, and the TV clicked back on.

Ivy shot Harley an apologetic look. “I had no idea she’d like them so much.”

“‘It’s good to let kids try new things’, or so I’ve been told.” Harley quoted. “Just why’d it have to be olives?”

“The sacrifices we make for the ones we love.” Ivy intoned somberly, laughing as Harley chucked a pillow at the screen. “Hey, don’t break the laptop!”

“A pillow isn’t gonna break this baby, got it in that shatterproof case to be safe. So I do this…” Harley tossed the other pillow too. “As much as I want!”

“Goofball.”

“Plant nerd.”

“Why thank you!”

Harley rolled her eyes, “I guess I gotta let you go. Dinner won’t order itself.” She leaned in and planted a kiss on the camera lense, “love you.”

The smeared image of Ivy pressed a hand to her lips and blew a kiss Harley’s way. “I love you too. I’ll call after nine?”

“Sounds perfect. Until then pretty lady.” 

“Until then.” Ivy blew her another kiss and the screen went dark.

Closing the laptop, Harley took a deep breath. “A different kind of normal. That’s all.” She wiped the last of the tears from her eyes, and headed for the hall.


End file.
